But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You have owners. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. In America, anyone can become president. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. } The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. You have owners. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics #privileges. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. 2023 Inspirationfeed. return true; We just believed everything. googletag.cmd.push(function() { The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. George Carlin. } Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. 125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life 3. They own everything. Creative Commons. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. } catch (err) { The planet is fine. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Enjoy! I look at war a little. return cookiePair[1]; I love individuals. 3. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; George Carlin Quotes - Facebook When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. fetchBids: function() { I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { They own you. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. //]]>. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. Born: May 12, 1937. You should die first, get it out of the way. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Its never going to get any better. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. That's the problem. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); } Comedian "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" George Carlin. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. So arrogant. }, It always has been. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. It will not be with jack-boots. You have owners. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. //]]> "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", Pictures. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. 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Nobody seems to care. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). "Forget the politicians. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! } else { } The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. var isRetina = window.devicePixelRatio >= 2; // retina display Required fields are marked *. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. They own, and control the corporations. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); George Carlin. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Weve added years to life, not life to years. window.csa("Config", { Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. var gads = document.createElement("script"); Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. Theres no present. apstag.init({ died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Best George Carlin quotes on life, religion and politics Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. Theres a humorous side to every situation. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. I have certain rules I live by. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Aparently we're not ready for that! If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. We havent tried that for a while. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. The people are fucked." George Carlin tags: funny , humanity , humor 8709 likes Like If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Its important in life if you dont give a shit. ' George Carlin, 30. Period. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Really? So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. gads.async = true; Then you live in an old age home. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. // Dont look for it. Its interested in its own power. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. _Q: [] And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. You and I are not in the big club. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). 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These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. }); Continue with Recommended Cookies. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. Trouble is, most of them suck. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. The 531+ Vicious Quotes Page 5 - QUOTLR The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. George Carlin 13. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. The only country that could invade America is America! How is it possible to have a civil war?George Carlin, When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. there's no such thing as rights. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The planet is fine. (function () { " George Carlin 15. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. Use your fucking heads! We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. George Carlin "The planet is fine. This is the best we can do folks. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases.
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