I will be the type of person I would like my children to become. 26. 83. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much. Seeing a spider in my room isnt scary. As I become responsible, I have got more powers. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? 26. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? 156. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Really? Affirmations to wealth are a great way for you to organize your thoughts and develop a positive outlook. I see food, and I eat it. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes., 2. We have divided these daily funny affirmations in these sections; Also check out our post ondaily affirmations for womenandaffirmations for menthat can help you to feel motivated and reshape your limiting beliefs. 204. I try to see the funny side of every situation., 3. Laughter brings me closer to people. 107. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. 26. Check out our funny affirmation selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. Remember, What consumes your mind, controls your life., 7. Some when they enter, others when they leave. I can always think of something funny to say. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. 142. 202. 144. I hope you enjoyed this article on funny affirmations! Robert A. Heinlein, 243. Life would be tragic if it werent funny too. 21. 276. Love your enemies. Finding humor in a difficult situation helps me win. A gummy bear. If you are looking for a way to get more laughs in your day, try some of these funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. Heres a list of important things to consider: Choosing the perfect affirmation from our list isnt much different. If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. Im not arguing, Im just telling you why youre wrong. I will create my own magic like my name is J. K. Rowling. I enjoy every minute of it. Friends buy you food. Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. 238. 267. Happy Birthday.". When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. 205. Positive Daily Affirmations for Women. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. 223. Be like a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet from the inside., 11. I dont like morning people, or mornings, or people. 6. 47. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. 20. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. 73.
10 Funny Affirmations That Will Put A Smile On Your Face - QuoteReel Milton Berle, 245. 27. 9. 81. 33. 1. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me., 14. You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full. I breathe in and out. If you want flowers on February 14, plant them now., 6. How do you count cows? What do computers eat for a snack? I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me., 12. To thrive in life you need three bones. How do trees access the internet? What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Remember that the effects of affirmations are no laughing matter, so make sure your voice is heard. My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. All you need is love. 5. There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy.
INSPIRATIONAL positive mindset affirmation #shorts #short #shortvideo 178. I have seen better days, but Ive also seen worse. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. Use them throughout the day whenever you experience negative thoughts. I receive what I believe. A backbone. I will drink my coffee and conquer my day. Today, I choose to put on my positive pants. Confidence makes me powerful. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
50 Christian Affirmations to Quiet Anxiety & Renew Your Mind - byDeze Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.
The Only 100 Positive Affirmations You Will Ever Need Im not insulting you. And in that moment I swear I still didn't give a shit. Oh sheet! After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F. Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of a Single Mom, Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of Midlife Relationships, Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? "If you see me talking to myself. 177. My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash., 9. I'm having a staff meeting.". I stick to things until I get to my destination. Life is always easier with some humor, smiles, laughter and fun. Think about all the things you're struggling with in your life. 132. Im describing you. Go to bed with satisfaction.". 176. 227. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. The rest are too expensive. I am transforming into someone who is outgoing and makes others laugh. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. IRS: Weve got what it takes to take what you have got. What do I do for a living? Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. Raimonda.B. Life is always rocky when youre a gem. 220. Don't forget to be awesome. Heres a list of funny affirmations that will improve your mood instantly. 140. Not everyone has to like me. Yesterday I did nothing and today Im finishing what I did yesterday. Laughter has always been lauded for its therapeutic effects. How Do People Share The News About Their Engagements? 9. Use this space for describing your block. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. So far, so good. Not me, but somebody does. I radiate calmness and tranquility, with a little side of body odor. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. These funny ideas are smart and a bit sarcastic and will bring a smile to your face. I love the moment when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I am going to be today. What doesnt kill you makes your drinks stronger., 10. Its called tomorrow. 7. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. 66. Rodney Dangerfield. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. Helen Giangregorio. If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome., 15. It will have a positive effect on your mind and body, and form an association between affirmations and a happy feeling. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. Expect nothing and appreciate everything. I dont cross oceans for people who wouldnt cross puddles for me. Because it was soda pressing. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. 175. I often wish I was someone else Just so I could hang around with someone as awesome as me. I am intelligent. I get it nowIm single because Im a superhero., See also: 140 Single Quotes For Instagram Celebrating Single Life. 108. Funny affirmation quotes funny quotes about affirmation. 2. "Being funny doesn't take much effort.".
300+ Short Positive Quotes to Brighten Your Day - PsyCat Games I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. I deserve sugar, spice, and all things nice. Allow yourself to laugh if you feel the need. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. 164. Not everyone has good taste. You may feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable. I thought you said extra fries.
39 Positive Affirmations And Inspiring Quotes About Life Similar to how it's important to minimize distractions in the workplace, you need a few minutes of peace to focus and mindfully say your affirmations. It may feel useless but just get into it. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. 163. The following is the list of some humorous affirmations for you: I am doing all the amazing things because I am an amazing human being. 7. 117. 230. Check out our funny affirmations selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. A mind is like a parachute.
258+ Funny & Happy Friday Quotes To Explode Your Energy Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them.
Short Funny Affirmations - Finally, I'm Revealing My Secret I will go out. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. I have Alzheimers bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. Steven Alexander Wright 36. Short people with an umbrella. A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. By waking up and repeating this mantra, you will set the tone for the day. - Christopher Reeve.
Funny Affirmation Quotes - ShortQuotes.cc You have to go after it with a club. 43.
99 Positive Morning Affirmations You Can Use Daily Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if youre one of them (I bet you are), youre going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm. 139. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. If we shouldnt eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. Description for this block. - Jack London. "It's going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible.". Everyone brings happiness to this office. He who laughs last didnt get it. I accept my body the way it is today. I am way dumb than my mom keeps blabbering about me to the neighbors aunt. 250.
85 Funny Wednesday Quotes, Sayings, Pics, and Images - The Random Vibez 10. Yeah, so is a grenade. Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations. "Disconnect to connect.". As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. 147. I release all shame about my body. 'Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.'. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? 120. 134. Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, Ill add LOL at the end. Walter Bagehot. 119. But then again so does . 236. My body belongs to me and I can set boundaries around it. 272. Stressed spelled backward is desserts. I am grateful for that time. When I grow up to be a parent, my children will think the same about me. 146. 60. How do astronomers organize a party? Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
75 Powerful Affirmations for Self-Love - Fun Loving Families 231. Well, life isn't just about glitz and glamour nor rainbows and butterflies. I nourish my body every day. They log in. Ken Dodd 264. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.
Top 75 Funny Daily Affirmations | Committed To Myself 111. 70. Short Funny Affirmations. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. Not only can laughter improve our problem-solving skills, but it can also help battle various diseases. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. I am too lazy to be lazy. 52. "Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.". If you cant laugh at your own problems, call me and Ill laugh at them. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. Never test how deep the water is with both feet. 3. Today I will embrace the poop., 7. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. The most important thing to remember when using positive affirmations is that it is all about how you feel. Whether youre saying the affirmations aloud or writing them down, laughing along will only strengthen their effect. I dont like morning people, or mornings, or people.
20 Funny Positive Affirmations for Self-Esteem 246. You can be positive and yet be funny and easy-going. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield. Never ask a starfish for directions. 217. You can simply try out one of our funny options, or think of affirmations that best match your sense of humor. -Katrina Bowden. 253. If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Before using these amusing affirmations, you should believe in your sense of humor. Ive been doing nothing for years. Sincerely, the floor. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. 17. Things are getting better all the time. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, theyll start using it. I love my body. Im not lazy, Im just very relaxed. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Its not important to win, its important to make the other guy lose. 46. Whether its at other people or at ourselves, its good to laugh in life. Bill Murray My future is a golden, sparkly, explosion of fucking awesomeness. Theres life without Facebook and internet? God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. 249. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. 78.
154 Short, Positive Affirmations that are Easy to Remember ~ Bill Gates. I am lazy till I get a motive. Dont worry about those who talk behind your back, theyre behind you for a reason., See also: The Best List Of 130 People Talk Behind Your Back Quotes. Erma Bombeck 44. Those who snore always fall asleep first. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. 2. Why was six scared of seven? The best things in life are free. Because someone is always sitting on the deck. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk. I dont think thats a coincidence. Youre born free, then youre taxed to death. "May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short.". 191. 230. They say dont try this at home so Im coming over to your house to try it. Roy Lichtenstein. I tell you what always catches my eye. Short Positive Affirmations set the pace for your day. So put on your favorite song, take a deep breath, and say these affirmations during your next tough time for some much-needed positivity! 'Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.'. 4. Your habits become your values. 2. 86. 102. I didnt want to interrupt her. My mind is becoming much sharper. 185. Albert Einstein 4. 123. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. I dont have everything I want, but I have all I need. Here, we are listing down some awesome funny positive affirmations that will bring out serious positive changes in you. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. So, here's our compilation of funny work quotes that are perfect for every workplace: Image Source: Unsplash. Funny positive affirmations do work. If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut. Affirmations are a great way to change your mindset. Leave me a if you agree! - Marcus Tullius Cicero. 223. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. You need some sort of way to offset the inevitable stressors of life, and what better way to do that than with humor? Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. But it'll move up again.". Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. When they go away, its a brighter day. Ive been doing nothing for years. It has the power to add levity to our daily challenges. 141. Dont give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. 148. 154 Short, Positive Affirmations that are Easy to Remember. Without further ado, lets look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. 182. 255. I dont go crazy, I am crazy. I intend to live forever. 143. Laughter keeps us from taking life too seriously, and life certainly does everything it can to ensure that we take it too seriously. Theres life without Facebook and internet? Today I was a hero. Dave Barry The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. 54. 88. I am fine. To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. My liver still works. 116. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Life doesnt have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.
180+ Positive Affirmations For Kids To Boost Motivation And Confidence So life is not always "All The Way Up", I guess. 99. Its okay, he woke up. Infographic: What is the Ultimate Commitment. 217. As long as I have friends as weird as me, I have everything. I dont worry about getting older. My body deserves healthy food and exercise, not junk food or laziness. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. Yeah, so is a grenade. Be like a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet from inside. I thought you said extra fries. Today I was a hero. When they go away, its a brighter day. "Once you choose hope, anything's possible.". Loving yourself and believing in yourself is the first step in making these funny positive affirmations work for you. 170. Why become moody when you can shake your booty. My funny vibes attract my happy tribe. Theres no stopping me now. I am already great, and I am yet to reach my full potential. The library, because it has so many stories. It may look like Im doing nothing, but in my head, Im quite busy. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Whatever the case may be, these 15 affirmations will make you feel confident in your sense of humor: Once youre feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed. Dont worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Perhaps youre just starting to use affirmations and still cant take yourself seriously. Watch popular content from the following creators: Maaryfairyy(@maaryfairyy), Jasmines Garden(@jasminesgarden23), Dazley(@dazzlemeup), JaySean(@jaysean), Nathalie Munoz(@nathaliemunozx3) . 198. Jackie Collins, 240. Send me the link. Next up is a collection of funny affirmations that will make you love yourself more. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! 172. 55. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I make people laugh, whether its with me or at me., 8. 262. Smiles are contagious, be a carrier. When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. Im sorry, but thats just the way I am.
199. Being funny seems to be taking less effort. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? The world is missing some pizzazz. "My funny vibes attract my happy tribe.". It just plain forms. All rights reserved. They planet. I am strong and getting stronger every day. Its a door, thats how they work. Snowballs. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. Cindy from Marzahn.
25 Daily Mantras For Positive Thinking | Positive Creators Quotes To Inspire You (MLK), 80 Life Gets Better Quotes To Brighten Your Day (Hope), 50 Bad Luck Quotes When You Feel Ill-Fated. 197. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. 76. 158. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Monday I shall slay thee with me mighty cup of coffee. 208. 71. 168. Effective pushing often involves poop. Positive affirmations aren't about tricking kids into mentally looking at life with eyes that only see what they want to see. 119. Life is becoming easier and less serious. 51. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek?
39 Funny Positive Affirmations [Feel Happier Instantly] 274. Daily affirmation: your hair is so much better than it was in middle school., 2. Life is always rocky when youre a gem. But sometimes affirmations may not work. 130. Whenever I get back home, I lose all the superpowers that I had when with friends. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. 60. - Billie Burke. Every one of my colleagues brings happiness into the office. When life closes a door, just open it again. You deserve it! Rather, the goal is to help kids recognize the truth, in situations and in themselves. I am the sunshine even when its gloomy outside. Franklin Jones Yes, officer, I saw the speed limit, I just didnt see your car. Paul Ehrlich Hes dreaming too. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287.
120 Funny/sarcastic affirmations ideas - Pinterest I am so f*cking awesome. 250. Im lovely because everyone likes me more than Monday morning!, 7. 249. I have committed to being my most outstanding self. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. Hence, avoid using past or future tenses. Because it was soda pressing. I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. I make a difference by showing up fully. "You're in mint condition for a vintage model. Stuart Turner, 247. Whatever the case may be, a sense of humor can go a long way toward changing your perspective on negative occurrences in your life. If I lose my hopes, I am afraid my mom will still scold me for taking it out and showing it to friends. So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations to motivate you to come out of your comedic shell. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered. It's OK to take a break. 35. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. 215. Czech proverb, 261. I didnt want to interrupt her. Im like a postage stamp. Youre born free, then youre taxed to death. This is the beauty of funny affirmations. If we shouldnt eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? 3. 115. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. May life man not be perfect, but Im blessed., 13. They say dont try this at home so Im coming over to your house to try it. You dont have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps. I woke up with some aches and pains, but I woke up. A mind is like a parachute. 226. You never run out of things that can go wrong. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. Albert Einstein, 190. Good morning! Wonderwoman: single. Breasts dont have eyes. Whatever I do, I will do it for fun, but with dedication and focus. Really? Following my intuition and my heart keeps me safe and sound. Sincerely, yourself., 2. Just like every Monday does on Earth. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me. Bill Murray When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. Nothing, they just waved. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. Flip Wilson 265. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? We need to hear a pin drop. For the best seat in the house, youll have to move the dog. 1. Ive made it from the bed to the couch. "Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.". If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.
Short Funny Sayings 107. I have a healthy body, tranquil mind and a vibrant soul.
60 Happy Friday Funny Memes Day of the Week - FunZumo